Dad sent me a list of saying (by mail) that he’s been saying all these years – 60 years worth! He asked me if I would typed them up for him and make a few copies. He wants to give the list to his friends and family. Dad thinks his list is funny, and I suppose that’s what he wants us to remember him by. He is 83-1/2 years old and has out lasted most of his friends. My dad
was is a friendly man and he had many many friends make in the day. They hunted together, fished together, went to the local bar together, and they all hung out at our lake house. You could say he liked his friends more than his family. Yep, I said it. But, hey I’m now okay with it. He gave us kids and mom a nice life…but boy did he love to play jokes, drink and laugh! We all love to laugh, don’t we?
Here’s the list. He tamed it up a bit b/c he knew little ones would read it someday. I also added a few sayings at the end of the list that he missed. God Bless my Dad. I love him. Oh, and he’s still alive…better than ever!!
Enjoy! I hope it brings some laughter.
60 years the following sayings and comments have been in my vocabulary. If
you’ve ever heard me say any of these…raise your hand!
- I don’t
mind work – I can sit here and watch you all day.
- Rain, we
got 2” to 4” inches, that is 2 drops every 4 inches.
- Bath, yes
I take a bath every Saturday whether I need it or not.
willing and the creek don’t rise, I will see you tomorrow.
- If you
snooze you lose and that’s a fact jack!
- I guess
I’m in pretty good shape for the shape I’m in.
- This is
the way it’s going to be, now get over it.
- Some days
a diamond some days a stone.
- If not
- Once you’ve had the best, you can forget the rest.
- It’s got to be this or that.
- It’s not over til the paper work is done.
- It hurts all over more than any place else.
- There’s got to be better days ahead.
- I am what I am and nothing else.
- My word is good, and you can take it to the bank.
- At yard sales, I tell everyone, “Sure need your
help, I’m still working my way through college.”
- Well it can’t be over til the fat lady sings.
- Can’t understand why the Lord has let me live this
long…guess he has plans for me later.
- I could do that if I wanted to, just don’t want to.
- If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.
- My get up and go, done got up and went
- My gosh kids, money don’t grow on trees.
- I love butter beans. I know they cause gas, that’s
OK that’s the only exercise I get.
- I’m not a wino – I’ll drink anything!
- My friend, this is not my first rodeo.
- I didn’t just fall off a turnip truck.
- Would like to do that for you, but I got places to
go, things to do and people to see.
- Did you see that? No, remember I’m blind in one eye
and can’t see out of the other.
- Man I need to get the hell out of dodge.
- Before daylight, let’s go hunting, my eyes are wide
open as a butcher knife.
- On a day like this the fish are right on the
- Now that you started it, go ahead and finish it.
- How y’all are?
- You talk about ugly, that woman is so ugly she
could stop an eight day clock.
- Sure glad you got to see me, y’all come back now
- You see friend, you didn’t have to pay a thing to
- It can’t get no better than this.
- Thank you, that’s better than sliced bread.
- Ma, look for me when you see me coming.
- I told my expensive dentist, “Be easy on me, cause
I’m old, ugly and broke.” He said, “Well two out of three ain’t bad.”
- My friend, you are a gentleman and a scholar, I
don’t care what others say.
- My gosh friend – you are a glutton for punishment.
- I tell Lynda – When I get back from being gone, Ma
got back the same day I left.
- If this check doesn’t make it thru the bank, I’ll
write another just like it.
- Why the
mustache Sam? Well, I tried growing hair on my chest, and couldn’t, so I tried
under my nose!
- How are you feeling Sam? Boy I feel more like I do
than I did.
- I shall end this mess by using an old ancient proverb: Early to bed,
early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Gee, wonder what happened
- Pull my
- Kids, kids
come here, there’s an airplane in our backyard. April Fools – you said that
more than once to us and we would fall for it every time!
- Damned if
- I’ll sell
you that house for 25 cents. (on road while traveling)
- How you
doing. Doing pretty good?
the _________ at? Between the a and the t.
- What’s my
name? Puddintame – ask me again, I’ll tell ya the same.